Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Q. What is red and bad for your teeth?
A. A brick
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course ... at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.
"Did you get that for your birthday?" He asked.
"No!" Jimmy replied.
"Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.
"No!"
"You didn’t steal it, did you?"
"No!" said Jimmy.
"I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night when they ‘doing the nasty’. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."
Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy’s new watch.
He vowed to get one for himself. That night he waited outside his parents’ room until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him angrily: "What do you want now?"
"I cannot sleep there's water in my bed." Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said: ”Fine! Stand at the corner keep quiet and wait!"
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